The image of the perfect boyfriend (maybe now not perfect anymore) changes for me since I discovered the presence of the other gender.
The only good-looker in primary school was probably a variation of the Ken doll or some pop idol - tall, muscular, dark and handsome (then again, at that time, you don't really notice guys)
The bad boy has always been attractive to me since then - cocky grin, the piercings and tattoos, the heck-i-don't-give-a-damn attittude, soccer star and who often also has a soft and sweet spot for girls (esp their mums)
The star athlete was also my choice after I started picking up sports and wanted my ideal partner to shine - I grew up watching volleyball matches and soccer matches for a certain particular reason, I picked up soccer and liked Jay Chou because of a certain someone too! Fit, tall, tanned, sporty was totally my kind. One whom you can go about supporting his matches/races & feeling proud that you have such a guy.
Was really envious when friends my age were starting to get attached in secondary school onwards and still, I kept reassuring myself, you'll find someone soon, you're still young - echoing the same sentiments as my mum. Well, I was quite wrong, for the record.
In university, you get surrounded by eligible (& non-eligible) bachelors, each better looking than the previous and when you learn about class, most of them are of equal or higher social status than yourself. And still you see everyone getting attached, all except yourself :( Now this is sounding more tragic..You see this guy, running on the track, no doubt good-looking, and he becomes your EC for 4years and it makes you really depressed because in these years, he was in 3 relationships - but none with you.
Life is not just about finding someone, you tell yourself, and so you train hard, join more activities (and yes, hang around with more guys) to occupy yourself. You went out with a number of guys but you were probably friend-zoned. Still, no luck and you suffer a number of heartaches here and there but you don't learn. After all, it was sweet memories. Slowly, your expectations lower - by a huge drop - and you start liking guys whom are just nice to you. And this makes things worse because they are nice to everyone, not only you.
You need an affirmation, an indication that you are a perfectly normal girl just praying to God that things would turn out right. Finally, you managed to get a guy smitten over you. It's a refreshing change from the opposite, where you just pin and hope for the best. This time you get roses, car rides, gifts, hugs and most importantly, an affirmation that there is someone in the world who cares deeply about you and is probably willing to sacrifise for you. He's not the perfect boyfriend - none of the above, not even close - and you know that deep down but you just need to hang on to someone for positive affirmation.
Still you're unsure and not all satisfied. Why? Because you realised that there's someone else occupying your thoughts - your nice and friendly neighbour, one who has the same interests as you, one who enjoys competing in races as you & that you can spend time supporting/watching him race, one who understands your needs, one you feel comfortable sharing your deepest wishes with, one whom you can just sit and do nothing with and still feel happy. He's not the perfect boyfriend but somehow he feels like it. Unfortunately, he hasn't made things clear too - so you're left alone and lost, probably just waiting for a reply. All you can do is wait. And you're willing to give up everything for that.
I'm no longer waiting for the perfect boyfriend; because that only happens to pretty, rich and smart girls - I'm just waiting for you to ask. <3
I'm no longer waiting for the perfect boyfriend; because that only happens to pretty, rich and smart girls - I'm just waiting for you to ask. <3
If you were me, what would you do?
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| Grown-up Charm - 2PM my ideal type of guy |
