Secret Love Song

Came across this song which was covered by the Sam Willows but surprisingly I found the original so much better and emotional.

We keep behind close doors

Every time I see you, I die a little more

Stolen moments that we steal as curtains falls

It'll never be enough

Pretty much sums up the emotions these past few weeks and had also brought back a piece of nostalgia from 2014's trip in London, one of the trips closest to my heart. It was when I met and knew Kenny better (and before he got attached), while he was a lot more unguarded. London was a place where I had a lot of mixed emotions, probably brought about by the weather.

These few weeks had been a emotional roller coaster for me, not sure if work had helped or contributed to it further but it had left me super drained. Who says cabin crew dept is so much better?

And perhaps someone pointed out something so true, perhaps I'm so upset/sore because I've lost the battle to someone that seemed less capable than me. Is it just only the competitiveness in me? That can be quite scary too. Life's unfair though

Tastes changes, so do guys...

It's only the start of April of 2016 and there's so many relationship issues?

Seriously, I need to learn how to actually stop falling for the wrong guys. It seems like over the years, my tastes have been changing and each time, the standards get higher and on hindsight, sometimes I wonder, why did I even liked that guy? I guess university and work does open boundaries - I used to think that the age range shouldn't be too far but I'm getting more liberal with my choices. But by doing so, it allows for more vulnerabilities. I'm not so sure why did my taste changed so drastically this time round but it's getting dangerous; and I'm becoming a little more like Rach, with the exception of a criteria of doing sports a bit more competitively.

He's in all ways eligible (at least that's what I choose to assume) but the caveat is that this guy's married (or that's what his records say but he didn't mention) and the age gap is pretty huge (think Jay Chou and wife). Stability and pretty good-looking are the key points. He claimed to attend church too.

This guy is pretty close to breaking my heart but I'm really gonna need all willpower to avoid him. Really don't know why he chose to be so nice to me but now it seems like he's also pretty chummy with HP. So I'm guessing he might be a player.

SO NO. I'm not sure why God throws all these people into my life to tease my heart but if only He could harden my heart a little, it would help. ALOT.

----------------------------------------ON HINDSIGHT--------------------------------------------------------

And so, I did consult people.. turns out that i got played out again...

I never seem to learn from this - trusting the wrong people, especially when you feel that the person's safe to trust because he claimed to be Christian (ugh..twice happened) and because he's so nice (at least for some period) - one indicated interest, one showed interest..