Letting go...

And so, I blurted it out to him...

As much as I didn't want to for fear of being back to square one, being alone doing stuff, being in a world where I felt wasn't fair because there is so much love but you just have none of it.

After talking to a number of people, I decided still, to be fair, I had to let go. It was hard, struggled with the decision for 3 weeks & counting, tears & nights thinking about it...

He said he saw it coming, it was his fault, doing all the weird and wrong things that pissed me off. But no, it was mine, my heart was divided, so much so that I liked him but wasn't willing to sacrifise anything - that wasn't love. I think he was nice, in fact, too nice, and I could tell that he loved me so. All the endless gifts, notes and little stuff he did..

Just that I felt he wasn't my soulmate.

I guess love does work in funny ways and I really don't know what God is planning in my life, one soul who really can't stand being alone and always in need to feel that she matters in the eyes of someone. I really hope God won't let me live in regret :(

These 4 months had been fun. But the sad fact is, all good things must come to an end.

I only pray that God will do something.