On expectations - when reality sinks in

Was initially pretty excited about today since the start of the week but somehow it felt like a disappointment at the end of the day..that's when expectations had been beyond what actually occurred. Work was, as usual, tough and I was looking for something to cheer me up at the end of the week but so far, it was pretty much a letdown.

I made the decision to join the Specialised team led by the Mavericks for a short ride in the west. Thought that it might be a fast and interesting ride, and hoping to get to know people but unlike Rapha rides where the guys (and some of the girls) are friendly and genuine. I guess Specialised is more commercialised and catered to the large masses so the riders who go are also very much different in riding levels and ability to converse. Don't know whether it was indeed a good choice to skip riding with the guys and go for this ride. Even though I managed about 70+ km in total, it was a little disappointing.

After that I went for SG Coffee Festival with N. Was also pretty excited, both by the coffee event and since this was the first time out with him, I did wonder how it would be like given that it was going out with another RCC guy who was my sister's age. Honestly, the impression I had of N was pretty good and being an ex-barista had its qualities. It was strange that I started comparing him to E. While I shouldn't have told him about E, I was comparing him quite a bit.

I'm pretty much attracted to good conversationalists and people with strong principles. Both E and N were exceptional although they had differing views on what made a good conversation and it was interesting to know. Both were guys of strong principles but whether they stuck to it, was another story. Both were interestingly knowledgeable but in their own ways. Both were younger than me but they had different maturity levels. But one was interested in settling, the other wasn't.

However, I found myself still quite attracted. Unfortunately, I think the impression I got from him was no, he wasn't interested and sad to say, he was after all pretty young and not as gentlemanly. Oh wells, at least it wasn't too deep unlike my previous 2.

I think I really need a change of environment to distract myself.