Midterm Crisis :/

I'm not supposed to write this now considering I've got to submit an essay tomorrow morning and I'm not done yet!

But just a quick update for myself. Time REALLY FLIES. It's past recess week already so quickly and honestly, I'm kinda glad that for this sem, it has been quite happening (don't really know how else to describe it) for me - both in a positive & negative way.

For one, I'm not as fast as I used to be (maybe's the shoe). Sighs.

Another thing, my heart got broken like countless times. Double sighs. But in a way, it got mended as quickly as it broke. Like what the..

Deadlines are approaching..all together..

But I guess I would be looking forward to this week. Kind of. Cos of SUNIG closing ceremony. My last one. Yet, it would be the one which I have the most friends attending :D Hopefully, it would also be the most memorable one. Although I feel that I didn't contribute to the medal & probably don't deserve it (I know that everyone would say that its a team-thing & all your trainings do deserve some recognition - that would be what I choose to believe on the surface but DEEP DEEP DOWN IN MY HEART, I know that no matter how hard I train, my efforts don't really matter in reality). Oh wells.

Another thing, is the mooncake festival celebrations at Gardens By the Bay..Gosh I really love that place. NEXT SATURDAY :))))

Just a thought to myself, something to rethink about in time to come:
Would a good-looking guy want to date a normal girl? Why? Is it even possible?

A part of my heart, a part of TEAM NUS ..4 years of SUNIG memories :)

"Just do my best because this is my first SUNIG for Aquathlon.."


which was I was thinking when someone asked me what were my expectations for the race. And then, it hit me; that it was going to be my first, yet my last SUNIG for not only Aquathlon, but also, for Cross-country; most importantly, for NUS. Which also prompted me to write this reflection, not only for myself; but also for my teammates and friends, current and future, to encourage them to train hard and fight to make it into the team to represent the school.

I was never from a sports background in secondary school unlike some of my friends; and was only in an average sports team in JC because soccer was not an area my JC particularly paid attention to. I joined because it was fun and I could do with losing some weight, made good friends and had some fun experiences playing in the A'divisions, but it was only when I entered NUS and joined the NUS Soccer team that I learnt about the satisfaction of playing competitively, and what more, for an institution that really places pride on sports team identity.

Soon after I joined Soccer, I thought that perhaps running would be able to make me fitter in games, so I decided to try out the Cross Country team. With the soccer girls and Coach Arasu, I really had opportunities to play with many different teams and I would never forget the fun times we had in KL and Shah Alam. And definitely, the many trainings for SUNIG and Invitationals; all the goals to beat NTU, for whatever shortcomings I had, I was motivated to work hard to improve myself so as to better contribute to the team. Although I didn't make it into the team in Yr 3, I really want to thank all you girls for the awesome experiences I had - MIN LI (really enjoyed all the HTHT sessions ;) ), Jiayu (always disturb me, but I forgive u!), Yi Ting (the forever solid keeper), Kat, Azlin (thanks for always being so encouraging), Tixi (thanks for being my TH roomie!!), Pei Qi, Yan Bing, Sher, Audrey & Emily (Kpop buddies!), Pam, PRIS (my soci buddy :) ), Sarah Ng, Wen Ting, Yun Xiu, Ulrica, Angie, Sooks, Huixin, Jes, Jaslyn, Khai, Isty, Yin Hong, Candy...

Now, for Cross-country, which I only started at the end of Yr 1, it was another whole-new experience for me, who was never in competitive running. Learnt to like intervals (especially doing and complaining with Cai Sang ;) ) and also learnt that running was NOT only about running. Also had a chance to compete in my first overseas competition recently in Jarkarta BIG 2012 - which was really an awesome experience with all the friends I've made & a dream come true when I achieved a podium-finish. Made it into the SUNIG team in Yr 2 & 3, whereby we did really well in, and this sunday, I would be racing in my final SUNIG as vice captain, hopefully everything goes well... But what's also important is the friends I've made in the running circle because of cross, got to meet some of the superstars - Ruiyong, Huaqun, Renuka (i mean in a positive way!), Xinqi, who taught me that running was not only about talent and passion, sacrifices had to be made to be able to do really well. Yes, achieving a podium-finish may look easy, but I doubt anyone would know the number of hours and discipline put into perfecting the running style, improving the splits by seconds... And also the close friends that I would say, played a huge role in my uni social life - Siew Min, Anne, Zak, Tricia, Emain, Cai Sang, ShanQi, MEI HUI; I'm really missing the times we had together :)

Lastly, for Aquathlon, which I started only sometime last year, when I thought that I should fill in the void which soccer trainings used to occupy & also to improve my swim. Honestly, I've always thought that the Aquathlon team was really scary, seeing people training up to 3 times a day, and still doing well in every other thing. After spending almost a year with the team, I still think that its sick to train 2-3 times a day, 7days a week; but the team is not full of scary people, but friends who trained hard to push their limits and still knew how to have fun :) Besides just training, I also learnt how important team support was for the overall morale and performance of the team, which I had experienced in my first Aquathlon SUNIG at ECP (& sadly also my last :((( ). I really wish that I am able to contribute more to help the girls get back our gold next year SUNIG but the only thing I can offer is my continual presence at trainings to motivate and help the rest :) But I would really like to thank COACH DAVID for being such a motivating and supportive coach (taking photos during our race, offering words of encouragements during the trainings & races) & also the seniors, who constantly return to offer advice, motivation, support & your undying passion for the sport (Lemin, Jon Ma, Christine, Dex, Darren, JJ, Kevin, Yingliang, Gen, Jason) - I think the team really really appreciates you guys! Thanks also to my fellow Lane 9-ers (sorry coach, it really exists!): Debbie, William, ChunHui, John, Mathias, Nazri, Charis, Ken, Subra; let's use this "lane-identity" to spur each other on for training attendance & best-improvements (which I already see in like all of you..hahhahas).

This note might be really long but it really expresses my heartfelt thanks to all mentioned & the teams :)


Give your all, not for yourself but for all those around you.

4 weeks into the sem & counting...

Perhaps just a short update this time with nothing much exciting to report for now..

4 weeks into the school semester and it feels like Week 8..don't know if its a good thing. Kinda sad that nothing much has happened.

Well, Grandma passed away recently, 1 Sept 2012. The thing is that I'm more guilty than sad because since I don't stay with her, I'm not that close compared to Mama. Seems like most of the stuff is duty-bound. But then again, I'm at peace that at least her sufferings are gone & she's alright in Heaven.

SUNIG season's here! Rather exciting period I must say. Although I got into the team for Aquathlon & Cross Country, I don't think I can contribute to the medal tally like Clara & Adriel does :( That makes me feel kinda useless; unlike being in the Soccer team, where as long as you play, you're doing something (unless you don't, thats the other issue). Quite excited to watch soccer too! Hopefully they'll do well & not walk away empty-handed too..

Playing IFG Soccer for the last time this Sat, 8 Sept. Hope it'll be a good game.

Got 2nd for RUN NUS (with Clara coming in first). It was a tough course but I was nowhere near Clara at all. Makes me feel like I'm quite lousy. When I was like dying at the last part, Clara still has bountiful energy to do strengthening exercises after the run. WTF. Am I old or because I don't have her talent :(

Start of Final Year in NUS - 2012 Aug

I never thought that I'll lose my zest for school & become like the other year 4 seniors in the past who shared that they were kinda jaded with school life..On the other hand, I don't want school to end & don't want to go out to work :( What can I do?

Anyways this sem for me would consist of the following goals:

1) Do well in all my mods (no more Daniel Goh, hopefully I would do better!)

2) Get into  SUNIG for cross & aquathlon & do well in both competitions

3) Try to get the hang of enjoying church more

4) Cross my fingers, hope God would bring me someone..hate to get my heart broken again (occured like 4 times last sem???)

5) Enjoy my 4th year

6) Lose some weight


Thats all..not a lot but hard to achieve..

Wishing myself a good 2 sems ahead.. *think positive*

B.I.G. Jarkarta 2012 (6-12 July) :)

Just back from BIG trip (6-12Jul) today & it has been an AWESOMEEEEE trip.. :)

Basically it was my first overseas competition - although it is not exactly very competitive because BIG is only between 5 universities; which this time HKU was not even competiting, only Macau, Indonesia & Malaysia. Well, I was actually excited about this, as well as really nervous, because I trained hard for this & I would think that people would also have a certain expectation of me.
I was also quite excited because of a certain someone - though later I would say that my hopes were kinda dashed :' ( oh wells..

Was glad to be off from work (DREADS) for a week & actually enjoy myself before the school term starts once again. But boy, I had a quite a few events happening to me before the trip. I was initially supposed to go for my Tioman trip but because I went to A&E (my first time too) for an eye infection :(( , I missed my trip & was even very afraid that I would have to forego this as well. But really thank God my eye recovered before going there (although I was also afraid of it relapsing due to the common notion that Jarkarta's air sucks) & also thank Him for watching over me when I was there. I ended work on Thursday late & still went on for training that day before rushing home to pack my stuff & download BIG - a korean drama to watch on the way :O Ended up sleeping very little. The irritating thing about packing is the tiny fear that creeps up telling you that you might have forgotten something..and that kind of made me late the next day and I spent $15 on a cab to rush to the airport (because I took the wrong bus & panicked..what a klutz right?)

But once I reached the airport, things seemed different :) I think it's the magic of being in an airport, the thought of going away from Singapore and experiencing something else, which chased all the bad vibes away. Well, for this trip, I had Anne, Jia Rong & Yan Rui (a track girl), together with our NUS liaison officer, Jing Da. Just was a little sad that Anne had to leave early..

Let you hear a little secret, I was actually stealing glances at him & hoping that perhaps we would end up sitting together or something but alas, that only happens in korean dramas & not anytime soon, so I figured I probably have to be zhidongyidian & go over to say hi :/

Us on the plane (JR, Anne, JD, Yan Rui)

For Day 1, it was much filled with getting to know each other and also the surroundings. BY THE WAY, I was happy that we were allocated to the same bus as the soccer guys & Arasu :D but at that point in time, no one actually knew anything about my relationship with soccer, maybe except Arasu? hahas..but I guess I seem to have an affinity with soccer (which can be GOOD & BAD) sighs..The place we were staying was Wisma Makara, a student hostel located within the campus of Universitas Indonesia; with a countryside vibe to it. Reached there around 4plus after experiencing our first jam in Jarkarta. Well, I'm not that picky, as long as the toilets are clean (which they were!) so I was kinda satisfied. We went for really easy jog to explore the place before dinner :)

Morning view from my room at Wisma Makara

In the evening, there was a welcome ceremony & dinner for all the overseas participants, it was ok, the food was fine with interesting dessert...hehes. But I guess we were very much in our own cliques & comfortzones so it was rather awkward. Oh yes, I forgot to mention our Indonesian liaison officer, Mayfree Syari, who's really really friendly :) We were lucky to have her! hahas.. And after the dinner, we went over to Vincent's room where we all had sports massage by Vincent, the soccer physio. I thought it was nice of him to help us (especially Jiarong) although he was not in charge of us. Kristian & Anh was there too..Apparently, they are closer to Vincent so that kinda became their hangout spot..hahas. :) Honestly, though I know it's good to get a massage, I'm terribly afraid of pain; also because my calves are really tight -__- but yea, it's free and was worth the pain (ouch).

 Next day, we all had to get up early for the opening ceremony at the basketball hall, somewhere near the heart of the university. It was overlooking a lake & it was actually quite a beautiful view, just that I felt it would be nicer without all the haze >.< hahas.. We took the bus with soccer (once again!) & I sat beside Anh (Alan). Was quite surprised to hear T-ara's latest hit "Day by Day" blasting from his headphones! And that there were some soccer guys who liked Kpop as well (up the coolness factor..LOLS)

 It was a long wait for the opening ceremony to start (sighs) but it was quite cool the way we walked in :D
After the ceremony was the bball guys' first match & we were supposed to watch. Well, it was okayy. Still prefer a soccer match over anything else hahahas..probably because I actually understand what was going on & could predict moves. Jiarong, on the other hand, was fixated. Not that I bother much anymore, he's just getting weirder ever since I've known him. We went back at around 1pm for the track technical meeting & I kinda wished maybe I shouldn't be the captain so that I don't have to "fight for our rights", especially when the officials' Engrish was utterly incomprehensible & that we had so many requests, but it was still rather interesting to have everyone look & listen to you. After the meeting I was actually in a rather bad mood. I had wanted to go to the track with the Malaysians (even though Jia Rong said it wasn't worth the time) but they didn't want to & the second thing was about Anne (it's always a love-hate relationship with her but she's still one of my bffs), that she seemed so nonchalent about her flight when everyone was like panicking for her. Luckily I was only pissed off for a while. That day, Jing Da's friend in Indonesia, Charles, sent over a car to bring us for R&R. I was damn nervous about the race so I think perhaps thats why I didn't enjoy so much (oh please, who goes R&R before a race??)

But then again, it was kinda fun seeing the city of Jarkarta (minus the jams -__-). We went to a mall to walk around & have dinner before heading back to the hostel. Oh yea, forgot to mention that it was then that Mr Tee Jia Rong dropped the bomb & said he knew about Kristian.:O And thereafter, it spread (through that guy's mouth) to the entire BIG organising committee. Oh well, it could happen both ways - something good or something bad. :O But the thing was I wasn't in control of the situation at all.

Day 3 = COMPETITION DAY. Like WTH, they made us wake up at 5am for breakfast but when we went down at 5.30am, they made us wait till 5.45am for breakfast. Thereafter, we had to wait for the bus (driver was late) which arrived at 6.15am. We only managed to reach the stadium at 7.15am. I almost had a panic attack - kept telling myself; "Ok, everyone's late with you so don't worry.." Warmed up for only 8-10min (inclusive of stretching) & started the race.

Me warming up

Luckily, it wasn't too painful before the race. Apparently, it was a boom & go thing. Round 1 I went slow & trailed Sarah Choong; who went at around 1:38 - wasn't slow actually. Round 2 I went even slower, widening the gap between me & Sarah but still close enough - 1:41. However, halfway through Round 3, I realised that both of us were slowing down - too much - that was when I decided to overtake Sarah; cautiously. Yet, I still feared that people would overtake me, after all there was still like 7.5 rounds. But my fears were unfounded & with God's help, I managed to keep the lead & got 1st :) Honestly, it was one of my happiest moment (although my timing was way off - 21:44, which they mistook as 22:39). The best thing is that IT WAS OVER!!!!!!! We can have fun already. Which we did. Yan Rui clinched 2nd for long jump & we went shopping at a shopping mall near the stadium after the morning competition.

Me running with Sarah Choong

I bought a pair of PUMA racers (which essentially wiped out half of my rupiahs, although it was kinda cheap) but I guess I should reward myself a little ;) After the little R&R, we went back to meet Anne & Jia Rong before their event. It was lucky that my event was in the morning or else the pre-race jitters would really drag.LOLS.. Sarah Choong came in 1st for 1500m while Anne came in 3rd. Then we were whisked to the airport so Anne could catch her flight. I really wanted to watch the other races though :( But apparently, Jia Rong did well & came in 3rd. As a captain, I was quite happy with all our results. And my responsibilities were kinda done. Yays :D

While Mayfree & I went back from the airport, Jia Rong, Jing Da & Yan Rui went to Grand Indo to eat. I didn't feel that lousy though - probably would binge-eat if I'm there & then again, I got to eat with Kristian & Vincent :) And that night, I went over quite late with JR for another massage ^^ Only Kris was there though.

Day 4: Went for morning run myself followed by swim. Jia Rong didnt want to run but I was glad I did because the POOL SUCKS. And it was nice seeing the guys train in the morning & have some me-time. After that, we kinda slacked the morning away bcos there wasn't much time to travel out before watching the soccer match. Basically, it was only our team comprising of me, JR, JD, Yan Rui supporting the soccer guys..hahas. But a small team is also a loud team, thanks to JD & Zhong Xian & the NUS sports officers.. :D Because of that people do actually know me & I got to borrow his iPad to watch shows.hehes.. At night after the game which they disappointedly lost :( we went out for some spicy seafood dinner with JD's godmum. It was ok only because maybe I was like binging D: drank avocado with chocolate & it was really not bad! Returned back after that to bring murtabak for Vincent & Kris, which I think they shared with the rest, including Eng Ping. Charis is so lucky to have such a nice & motivated bf ..sighhs. But it was nice talking to Kris. Reminded me of that day..

Arasu's team 1 singing national anthem

Day 5: Went for morning run as usual, this time further & that I realised the university is HUGE..After that we went to support Table Tennis (which was awfully boring & also I felt bad when Carmen actually thanked us for supporting :/ ) Was upset because we couldnt support the soccer match and was actually thinking about it most of the time when we went out. Although it was interesting to see stuff like the artist village & the kelong lunch & drink beer, it was okayyy only because it wasn't as interesting to keep my thoughts away. Oh well..But yea they did well. And they probably went out celebrating because it was the only day that I didn't see any of the soccer guys at all.

Beer Jug!!

Nice Seafood kelong view..good for a romantic date

Well..we did had some bumper-car fun at night. We went to some hari-raya expo fair which we had to pay for the entrance and walked around..Nothing much interesting happened except we re-lived our childhood days of bumper-car. $3 for 5min! What a rip-off. But then again, we did had 5min of fun..

Day 6: Went for a short run once again. After breakfast, it was like mass R&R. We went to Taman Mini, which was quite a disappointment. There was like nothing much there and it was rather hot & run-down. Actually it could have been fun if everyone was enthusiastic enough to take photos (like the Malaysian team) but like all pampered Singaporeans, they want to sit, eat, and adequate aircon. So it kinda made everyone quite depressing. I joined the BIG comm for 'lunch' (which was so gross that I didn't bother to sit & eat with them) & we played another round of bumper-cars. This time, 10min of pure fun. Sat with  JD & it was not bad..Really preferred guys being in charge.hahas.

Mayfree and I

After that we were supposed to have lunch at the Museum of Indonesia. I made a smart move by getting down the depressing bus & went in. Saw the soccer guys there :) And decided to go into the museum with Anh :) Through our little conversation, I did know him a little better. Which was a good thing. I'm kinda suffocated by our small group of JD, JR & Yan Rui. Not that they were that boring but it was getting boring seeing them like every day. Went to some mall after the musuem to shop for some snacks to bring home. JD was actually super sweet but offering to wait & push the trolley that I felt quite bad.

In the evening, we had the closing ceremony where we had to perform some lame Singapore Town song for our item. Was rather happy that the soccer guys were there too.. Then it was the prize giving ceremony. Honestly I was elated with my award :) And for the photos that were taken. With Anh & Kris especially..hahahs. But what totally changed my mood was that Kris started sticking with Sarah Choong. Really made my self-esteem DROP & affected the night :(

I don't know if he could tell I was seeking solace but he did treat me really well that night and it really made me feel a lot a lot better.


Day 7: Didn't run today because I was damn tired from sleeping at 4am.. But woke up feeling rather bittersweet. Seemed like a dream that I woke up from. Everything's back to normal though. No one was acting different (maybe the guys were kind of friendly & more helpful?) Anh was normal too..Kinda expected a little more from him. Kris was back to talking to Sarah :/ (that was the only thing that changed) So..I felt quite disappointed actually. Should I have expected something more? A nudge, a wink, a smile would suffice. I'm not even expecting something huge like sitting beside me on the bus or plane or a hand over the shoulder? I'm not too sure but I kinda felt him looking but nothing more... I'm feeling quite hurt because it felt like my heart's been played. But I still got to wait and see..



This trip's memories would forever be etched deep down in my heart :)
Video link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5aqSl4YzXo

What I've been doing so far...

Here's an update of what I've been doing & will be doing so I can keep track and update this. I'm trying to be very meticulous about this but I don't know how long I can keep this act up!

Firstly, I'm currently interning at NUS-ISS (which most people don't have an inkling about - me too, before I joined), during marketing of IT courses (on the side note; doing a lot of admin stuff as well as the marketing team is pathetically small). Dying of boredom at work & now suffering from conjunctivitis :((( The only good thing is that I can train in school but that's about all the benefits I can get? hahas.

Before I started my internship, I went for NUS-Summit 2012. This is the 2nd one I've been too and it's a whole lot more fun; because of my group, which has Barbs & Yew Wee and also that I've made new friends from other groups as well. Once again, I didn't get into the group I was eyeing but oh well, it's ok. My group wasn't too bad. Just that it's a little sad that we don't even talk, much less meet up after the camp. Enjoyed the activities a whole lot better than the previous time & I didn't have to sleep in the treehouse (which everyone envied again - nice to look but sucks to stay in).

This holiday is mostly focused on training for BIG - 5km event. I'm excited for the trip but kinda dreading the race. Everyone says it's just for fun but now I'm really panicking because of my off-week which I didn't hit my timings & worse still, I have to put training on hold because of my EYE :((((((  Much as I want to improve my timings, can the process be not so painful?? Sighs..

Next, I've started playing soccer AGAIN! Technically I'm not allowed to since it disrupts my trainings but I'm having so much funnn..I've been scoring rather often too, and what's more, I'm playing with guys. Hehes..Might have to stop when school starts but oh wells, it's a good substitute to being alone on saturdays when I should be cherishing my saturdays by going out. Biking has kinda robbed me of a training partner at Sentosa; a place which I love training at (minus the $3 entry fee) & people whom I would like to run with aren't free also so might as well play soccer.

Update #1: I'm going TIOMAN this weekend ($200 just flew away but oh well!)

Update #2: BIG is the following Friday O.O

Update #3: Pocari Sweat Run 5k the following Sunday

Update #4: Cross Chalet 21-23 Jul, following that would be Matric Fair (which I wish I could go..maybe I'd meet more new friends)

Thereafter, school would be starting soon. Time really flies!

Beginnings...

I just decided to start blogging for the fun of it..to store memories (which is what I named this blog to be; be it good ones & bad ones)..After all, memories are what shapes a person's life experiences.

And since I am at work with nothign much to do, I thought, why not start? Blogging might be a little narcissistic but at least when I die, therre would be something left in this world with my name stamped on it (that is, if I continue blogging till then). Hahahas..

I'm planning to add photos and all to this; pretty things are meant to be shared.

And since I've a painful eye while writing this, I shall keep it short. Will continue this another day i hope!